“I can honestly say, had this been last year, we would have gotten our ass beat by 20.”
-Obligatory weekly Bruce Arians quote, after the Bucs’ Week 4 comeback win over the Chargers and wunderkind QB Justin Herbert. This is how Captain Grumpus gives compliments, and I’m pretty sure this one is for Tom Brady. But in true Arians fashion it also doubles as a dig at infamous hand-gobbler Jameis, because why waste your breath on positivity that doesn’t also destroy somebody you detest?
“He knew. He knew.”
Cut to Thursday of Week 5, after the Bucs lost a one-point grinder to the Bears, partly it seems, because Brady appeared to forget what down it was on one of his patented one-minute comeback drives. This is Arians again, defending his QB by stating the opposite of what all of us could see with our own eyes, but so be it. After Brady’s 4th down pass was knocked down and the Bears were to take over on downs, he stayed on the field holding up four fingers, while the rest of his team walked back to the sideline.
This is all rather unexpected, of course. We expect that if you are either foolish or unlucky enough to leave Brady 60 seconds or more at the end of the game, he will drive down the field and thrust the dagger through your heart with the final score, leaving you with crumbs to work with. We’ve seen it countless times over the last two decades. And even at 43, with whatever he may have lost physically (his arm strength is actually less diminished than many, myself included, have previously stated; though his pocket mobility has definitely suffered), we all expect his mental game to remain as sharp as a razor. That’s the Brady Iceman persona. But maybe now that throwing back-breaking pick-sixes appears to be a new-found part of his game, so too are the mental errors. I blame the half-assed Trumpism for eating away too much of his frontal cortex.
One thing that does remain unchanged, however, he can’t seem to beat Nick Foles.
“Hey Ramsey, am I still trash?”
This is how Josh Allen signed a fan’s photo in 2019, after the Bills beat the Jags, before Ramsey was traded to the Rams. This of course refers to Ramsey’s comments in his bombshell GQ interview in the summer of 2018. Cornerbacks are known for their profuse and scathing public shit talk, but Ramsey stands head and shoulders above most of them. In the article, he offered weirdly lavish praise for a few QBs (he claimed before God and everybody that Cousins would be in the Hall of Fame) and heaped shit on several others, including his own at-the-time QB Blake Bortles (“[we don’t go against him in practice because] we don’t wanna hurt his confidence”) – but he saved his most undiluted Haterade for Allen.
Yet since that article Allen has played Ramsey’s teams three times and won all three matchups. In that time, the scrambling, rocket-armed QB has steadily improved his game. Early on he was wild, raw, and unformed, mixing in Matrix-style QB scrambles with bone-headed interceptions. Last year, he had tightened up enough that on his play and the strength of the defense, the Bills made it to the playoffs, only to exit from the first round after losing an overtime thriller to the Texans, primarily because Deshaun Watson is a fucking ninja (I just got chills watching that shit again).
Allen famously trained with Romo this last summer, working on his throwing mechanics, and whatever it was he learned, against all probability it seems to have resulted in a world-class transformation. Allen’s problem was always accuracy, which is historically something that can’t be improved to any significant degree. He could always chuck the ball into the stratosphere, and the mental game for any quarterback can always improve with experience, but he has somehow improved his completion percentage by 18 points since the 2018 season. Some of that can be attributed to a stronger offensive line and improved receiving corps (Diggs in particular is one of the best 50-50 ballers out there), but his accuracy on tight windows, minimal separation, and deep balls is now much closer to Wilson and Rodgers than say, bottom scrapers like Fitzpatrick. Through four games he has a 12 to 1 TD/INT ratio and his yards per attempt is second only to 2020 God Tier Russell Wilson. In the midst of an historic offensive season, he is standing at the top of the heap. The most fantasy points EVER scored through four games goes like this:
1. 2020 Russell Wilson
2. 2020 Dak Prescott
3. 2013 Peyton Manning (when he scored 55 TDs)
4. 2020 Josh Allen
Sure this could be like Carr’s anomalous MVP-caliber season a few years ago, but I still think it’s absolutely safe to say at this point that Allen isn’t trash. When asked if there was any bad blood left between him and Ramsey after the Bills beat the Rams in Week 3 (Allen repeatedly targeted Ramsey’s receivers, including on two of his TD passes that day), he demurred with a generic “Nah. He’s a competitor.” Of course, it’s easy to be magnanimous when you hold all the Ws in the relationship.
I work with two Bills fans, both of whom are so rattled by years of sub-mediocrity that they are giddily convinced the Bills are going to charge past the Ravens, Chiefs, and Patriots and into the Super Bowl this year. The Bills are fun to watch with their buzzsaw offense and shut-down defense, and man I really do hope they are right, but I’m not sure I’m there yet. Still, there is little I love more than a redemption story, and Josh Allen is proving to be a major one.
Continue reading “ASTRAL GEEKS S06E04: Super-Spreader Offense”